💼 Join Our Team (We're Desperate)

Director of Getting Yelled At On Twitter

Manage our social media presence by posting content and then immediately defending it from angry fans who didn't read the disclaimer. You will spend 8 hours a day replying "it's satire" to people who think we actually reported that Messi joined a cricket team.

Requirements: Thick skin. Ability to type while crying. Must know all 47 Twitter/X emoji that convey sarcasm.

Perks: Unlimited therapy (not covered by insurance, but we'll say "that sounds rough" when you vent)

Fact Checker (Please Don't Actually Check The Facts)

We need someone to maintain the illusion that we verify our stories while understanding that "a bloke down the pub said it" is our primary source. Your job is to occasionally nod and say "sounds about right" when writers claim they have "sources close to the situation" (their cat).

Requirements: Must be comfortable with moral ambiguity. Ability to say "technically not false" with a straight face. Journalism degree preferred but we also accept people who just read a lot of Wikipedia.

Intern Who Does Everything While We Take Credit

Are you young, enthusiastic, and willing to work for "experience" and "exposure" instead of money? Perfect! You'll write articles, make coffee, fix the website, design graphics, answer emails, and occasionally be blamed when things go wrong. In 6 months we might remember your name!

Requirements: Must have 10 years of experience (somehow), be willing to work 60 hours a week, and never ask about the "possibility of future paid employment" (there isn't any).

Compensation: A LinkedIn recommendation that we'll write 3 months after you leave and only if you remind us 7 times.

Lawyer To Explain Why We're Not Actually Defaming Anyone (Hopefully)

We need legal counsel to review articles with headlines like "Local Team So Bad They Should Be Investigated By The Hague" and determine if that's technically libel or just "enthusiastic opinion." Must be comfortable explaining to judges that "it's obviously a joke" is a valid legal defense.

Requirements: Law degree from a real university (sorry, online courses don't count). Sense of humor required - you'll need it when reading our articles. Experience with "cease and desist" letters is a plus, both sending and receiving them.

Executive Vice President of Sitting In Meetings That Could Have Been Emails

We're not sure what this job actually does, but every company has one so we figured we should too. You'll attend 47 hours of meetings per week, say things like "let's circle back on that," and collect a salary that could fund our entire writing team for a year.

Requirements: Must own at least 5 identical grey suits. Ability to use "let's take this offline" as a conversation-ending weapon. Must have read exactly one book about leadership and now consider yourself an expert.

Salary: Too much. Way too much. You'll earn 400x what our writers make and somehow think that's fair.