📜 Terms of Service (Nobody Reads These)

By using this website, you agree to everything. Even the stuff we haven't thought of yet.

⚠️ The Important Bit

Welcome to Unfit Sports. By accessing this website, you acknowledge that you're probably bored at work and looking for something to read. That's fine. We accept you. But legally, we have to tell you some stuff, so here goes nothing.

Last updated: When we remembered this page existed (sometime in the distant past)

⚠️ Warning: This page contains satirical legal language. If you need actual legal advice, please consult a real lawyer, not a sports satire website.

📋 The Actual "Terms"

ACCEPTABLE USE

What You Can And Cannot Do (Please Behave)

You may use this website for: Reading our articles, laughing at our jokes, sharing our content (please do, we crave validation), and wasting time at work.

You may NOT use this website for: Hacking us (we have nothing worth stealing), scraping our content to train your AI (it's not that good anyway), or taking us seriously (this is crucial).

Prohibited activities include: Sending us death threats (rude), attempting to physically fight us over an article (we're very small), or expecting journalistic accuracy (wrong website, mate).

Enforced by: Our mood on any given day

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY

Who Owns What (Spoiler: Not You)

All content on this website belongs to us. The jokes, the terrible puns, the vaguely coherent sentences - they're ours. You can't steal them. Well, you can, but then you'd be a jerk.

What you CAN do: Share links, quote us with attribution (please say nice things), and tell your friends about us (validation!).

What you CANNOT do: Pretend you wrote our articles, republish our content without credit, or claim you came up with "Overpaid Kickers" (that was Gary's idea and he's very proud of it).

DISCLAIMERS

We're Not Responsible For Anything (Legally Speaking)

Unfit Sports is provided "as is" with no warranties, express or implied. We don't guarantee accuracy, availability, or that our jokes will be funny. Your mileage may vary.

We are not liable for: Emotional distress caused by our terrible takes, arguments you get into with strangers in our comments section (we don't have comments, but if we did), or any decisions you make based on our "sports analysis" (which is made up).

If you bet your life savings based on our transfer rumors, that's on you. We literally have a disclaimer saying we're making things up. Read it.

Liability limit: £0.00 and a firm handshake

TERMINATION

We Can Ban You (But We Probably Won't)

We reserve the right to terminate your access to this website for any reason, including but not limited to: being mean to us, using Comic Sans in emails to us, or having opinions about cricket we disagree with.

Realistically though: We don't have user accounts, so we can't actually ban anyone. This clause is here because our lawyer copy-pasted it from a template. Ignore it.

Last banning: Never (we're too lazy)

JURISDICTION

Governing Law (The Laws Of Common Sense)

These terms are governed by the laws of the United Kingdom, specifically the "Don't Be A Jerk" Act of 1857 (not a real law, but it should be).

Any disputes shall be resolved through: Negotiation, mediation, or rock-paper-scissors. Litigation is expensive and we'd rather spend that money on snacks.

Jurisdiction: If you sue us, you have to do it in a UK court. But please don't sue us. We're very small and breakable.

Applicable law: The law of the land (and memes)

MODIFICATIONS

We Can Change These Terms Whenever We Want

We reserve the right to modify these terms at any time, for any reason, without notice. Check back daily if you're paranoid. Or don't. We're not your supervisor.

How we'll notify you: We won't. Just assume everything is the same until you get sued and find out it wasn't.

(Just kidding, we'll probably put a tiny banner at the top of the page that you'll ignore like you ignore cookie consent banners.)

Changes made: Whenever Gary remembers

✅ Acceptance of Terms

By continuing to use this website, you hereby agree to:

✅ Not sue us for anything, ever
✅ Accept that our content is satirical and definitely not real
✅ Forgive us for our terrible puns
✅ Share our articles with at least one friend
✅ Not get mad when we make fun of your favorite team
✅ Accept that we have no idea what we're doing legally
✅ Send us nice emails occasionally (ego boosts are welcome)
✅ Acknowledge that Gerald the office plant is doing his best

(There's no "decline" button. This is the internet. You have no choice.)

📞 Contact For Legal Inquiries

If you have legal questions about these terms (why do you?), contact our legal department:

Email: legal@unfit.live
Phone: We don't have one
Address: 123 Fake Street, Legally Dubious City
Representative: Gary (part-time Uber driver, full-time legend)

Please note: Gary is not a qualified lawyer. He watched a lot of Suits and thinks that counts. Any legal advice he gives should be taken with a large grain of salt and probably disregarded entirely.